Adrift in the Sea — “It’s OK”

What’s this lonely languishing 
As I drift on endless waves 
No port in sight 
No winging birds 
Just endless endless sea 

Beneath me churns those hidden things 
What might come to snatch me whole 
While sun beats hot 
And thunder booms 
And lightning strikes repeatedly 

Missing those who’ve turned away 
Rejecting still my poured out love 
Will I ever leave this place 
This sea of endless grief 
That wants to deaden me 

My raft is gone 
I feel alone 
Is nothing left to hold onto 
A test again of faith, dear LORD 
Help me to believe 

Reminders come that ocean waves 
Are part of God’s creation too 
Assuring me I’m still secure 
As I float precariously  
Bobbing, wondering listlessly 

Father God see me please 
Isolated in my grief 
Help me embrace 
Your suffering too  
The grief You’ve borne for me 

Let me not lose Your hand 
Knowing LORD, You’re holding mine 
And if I slip beneath the waves 
Even there You’re still with me        
Beyond the deepening deep 
 
~~~

Father, thank You for never leaving nor forsaking me even when my capricious feelings challenge Your truth. Thank You for the innumerable times You have saved and strengthened me, tangible reminders of Your presence and Love. No matter my loss, help me to respond in faith and trust. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT
“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

***
Addendum:
Later in the evening, the same  day I wrote this poem of lament, the LORD brought encouragement to me in a totally unexpected way. Dear husband forwarded several America’s Got Talent reels to me, and after the last was another: a choir from South Africa singing Nightbirde’s song, “It’s OK.” 

Intrigued with the story, and wondering about Nightbirde (Jane Kristen Marczewski, an AGT contestant who sang her original song, “It’s OK,” received a golden buzzer, had to later drop out of the contest as she battled cancer, then passed away not long after), I listened to her AGT audition as well as her funeral on YouTube, then looked up the lyrics of her song about it being ok to feel lost at times.  

Jane, a Christ-follower, and mentor to many young people, also said, “It's important that everyone knows I'm so much more than the bad things that happen to me...You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy.” 

Copy this into your browser to find the words and listen to her music: 
“It’s ok lyrics nightbirde” 

Thank You, LORD, for Jane’s honest sharing throughout her journey; for blessing us still with her joy, faith, and encouragement.