As I think back over the years I see a constant thread that has woven its way throughout my life, that of yearning to be perfect. Repeatedly I have learned that in an imperfect world perfection just cannot be achieved, try though one might! Even daydreaming of what my ideal ideal day would be is challenging, for it will still be incomplete, not fully ideal. Oh, to just relax in being an everyday girl. “Just be yourself!” the LORD spoke to me one day long ago. It’s hard to be a worm when one wants to be a butterfly! “Help me savor all there is here, LORD! And become all I need to be before You give me wings to fly!”
Maybe that is just it . . . my ideal day is one when I do not have any concerns about what it is I should be doing, freedom from overthinking, willingness to tackle with joy whatever the task set before me, one without dread of what is to come or what could have been, one where I am just enjoying the day with enthusiasm again.
Perhaps I would fly to France and live there for awhile. Somehow embody the the depth of life I felt on our visit to Laon a few years ago. Linger in the outdoor cafes in the shadow of the Notre Dame de Laon towers. Or stroll the market streets beneath the canopy of opened, colorful umbrellas strung high overhead. Shop for marionettes, and purchase at least one. Linger there a little longer than just an overnight on a scheduled journey. I would be able to truly enjoy a full-bodied dark red wine, without the tannins giving me a headache, for maroon is a color that speaks depth and love to me. I want to drink it in, let it fill me up. Dear husband would be there, too. Young in spirit though our bodies have aged, we would be as we were when we were newly in love. Savoring each adventurous moment, still climbing the hill, rather than have crested the top and viewing a shorter path to our finality. “Living at high noon” we know our lives continue after our time here on earth . . . it has just gone by so fast. We long to fly, yet feel the remorse of having to let this life go.
Perhaps just today is my ideal ideal day. My husband is near, my mind seems clear, and we are working on projects simultaneously and together. The children and grands all speak to us, there is peace in the valley where we live, my heart overflows with gratitude and fond memories, and the sun is shining. All is well! I am thankful for whatever this day brings. Yes, today is my ideal ideal day!