When Life Falters

Air thick, like tree trunks without roots her steps were faltering. Would she topple over taking one step to the next? She could see, talk, move her limbs…well, you know the drill…check heart rate and rhythm, squeeze fingers, touch nose, see numbers of fingers in peripheral vision…it was just her legs and equilibrium that were off. She staggered, lumbering through the air, towards the bathroom. Some things needed tended to no matter what else was a-shakin’. She did her business, drank two glasses of water, and walked the walls back to bed. No problem.

The last few days had been embellished with a couple of visual events, evidences that indeed her body was aging, though she was only shy a month of turning seventy-four. At least the fleeting events were pretty…tiny neon blue geometric ornaments dancing in her eyes one day, neon red a day later, her own private internal Christmas tree lights. “I wonder if colors in heaven are like that,” she mused. “People who’ve experienced NDE’s have reported such things.”

Slipping purposefully into bed, no faltering in that move, she lay wide awake ruminating over the info she read late last night about visual colored lights. Could be anything from retinal issues to migraines to brain tumors to strokes. Hmmm. She’d wait and mention it to her retinal specialist at the next appointment since the rest of her vision seemed unchanged. As for the staggering…she got up again, took two staggery steps, and sat back down. Time would tell.

“Good morning, honey,” she greeted her husband, four years her senior. “Now it’s my turn to unload on you.”

“What’s up?” he asked, listening patiently. As she described her morning body antics, “Uh huh, yes, uh huh,” were his calm replies.

“It happened a second time a few minutes ago when I stood up,” she remarked.

“Well, yes,” he returned. “I’ve had that going on for quite some time. It’s like my gyroscope gets out of whack and needs time to resettle.” His signature laugh enveloped her.

“Well this is different from those times I have to put my head down when I start to walk.”

“Yes, it’s different than that,” he confirmed.

“You know, people on my side of the family have had strokes.”

“Yes, I know. We’re getting old. It’s part of aging,” he smiled.

Thinking of the many times she had listened to his interesting reports of goofy body experiences, after a pause she laughed, “Just sayin’, now it’s my time to start unloading on you. Pay back time!”

He grinned, walked over and gave her a good morning kiss, “Okay, partner.” His eyes twinkled.

Oh yes. They were doing that old couple thing just like her parents had. “Laughing All the Way to the Cemetery” was the title of a short aging memoir her mother had written for the family, and often laughed at her own aging surprises saying, “It only gets better from here.”

“Yes, indeed,” the now-aging daughter smiled to herself, holding fond memories of those loved ones who had embraced aging well, “it only gets better from here!”

~~~

LORD, thank You that You have known us before we were born, and You alone know the number of our days. Turn our eyes evermore on You. Grant us the peace of aging gracefully no matter what life brings. Give us wisdom to seek help when needed, to believe Your words to “fear not,” and to rest in the assurance that You are always with us. May the beauty of Your Holiness shine through this gift of life You’ve given us. With all praise and glory to You, Father, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Jeremiah 1:5a NKJV “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;”

Psalms 71:18:20 “Now also when I am old and grayheaded,
O God, do not forsake me,
Until I declare Your strength to this generation,
Your power to everyone who is to come. 19 Also Your righteousness, O God, is very high,
You who have done great things;
O God, who is like You? 20 You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
Shall revive me again,
And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.”

Psalms 39:4-5 “Lord, make me to know my end,
And what is the measure of my days,
That I may know how frail I am. 5 Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths,
And my age is as nothing before You;
Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor.” Selah

Isaiah 46:4 “Even to your old age, I am He,
And even to gray hairs I will carry you!
I have made, and I will bear;
Even I will carry, and will deliver you.”