A Frantic Chicken

After an intense two weeks of good things, hard things, challenging things, a weird sense of overwhelm descended and I tumbled unexpectedly into exhaustion. As my enthusiasm and energy drained away, the old adage of “running around like a chicken with its head cut off” came to mind.

How often do we humans race into compounding factors, find ourselves overwhelmed, frantic to control and find answers while trying to wrangle our disrupted lives back into order? Like a frantic chicken running in a cloud of dust, are we as disjointed, erratic, and futile?

Certainly change is part of the warp and woof of things. And while I’d been on a meaningful and satisfying roll, minding business at hand, helping loved ones, like the chicken, I did not see the abrupt change coming. Happily, unlike the chicken, my head was still intact.

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” Everywhere I looked stood a thick wall of fatigue. I was stymied. No place to go but hunker down, endure the perplexing experience, take one day at a time, wait and see, then take the next careful step. “There are no atheists in foxholes” rang true…what could I do but walk gingerly forward in faith as the fog began to shift?

Praise God, the only One who can stabilize my shaken ground is also my safe landing place. A firm foundation as I learn to pivot, or just hold on. Pure breath to breathe, living water to drink, consolation to keep. I hope as you navigate this off-kilter world, God will be your strong tower and your anchor, too.

~~~

Thank You, LORD, for being the anchor of my soul, and my strong tower. No matter the state of my existence, You hold me in the palm of Your hand. Your trustworthiness is without measure, Your promises never-failing, and as I wait on You to lead and guide me, Your presence and compassion guards my heart. Thank You, LORD. In You, I will not be shaken! May You be glorified as You rescue and save me in whatever state I’m in. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Proverbs 18:10 NKJV “The name of the Lord is a strong tower;
The righteous run to it and are safe.”

Psalm 61:1-3 NLT “O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help
when my heart is overwhelmed.
Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge,
a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.”

Isaiah 54:17 NKJV ‘“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,” says the Lord.”’

Hebrews 6:18-20 NLT “So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. 19 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. 20 Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek.”

A Grain of Sand


Who are you small grain of sand 
Lost ‘mongst trillions in the sea 
Washed and tossed and swirled around 
Gulped, spit out repeatedly 
And yet you’ve stuck somewhere fast 
Encapsulated in your world
‘Til light shined on opened shell 
Look! What wonder! You’re a pearl! 

Had you ever barely dreamed 
Beyond confines of tiny frame
To become one day so fine 
After years of hidden strain 
Lost within a great unknown
Never knowing you could change
With joy to find you’re carefully wrought 
Beyond yourself and tiny spot 

Glory to the Gracious King 
Whose plans, designs beyond our ken 
Surprise, delight when radiance brings 
Luminance to once dull things 
Purpose filling every one 
Fashioned deftly by His hand 
Reaching from the vast unseen
Even to this grain of sand 

~~~

LORD, thank You for Your great mercy. For rescuing us from our brokenness, rough and destructive edges, emptiness, failure, and obscurity, and transforming us to reflect Your goodness and glory. As cherished children who esteem and bring honor to their parents, may we glorify You, LORD. Thank you for treasuring us above jewels of highest worth. Oh, to properly accept such great a gift! Thank You, Father, for loving us. Help us show our love to You and to one another. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Psalm 139:15 NKJV
“My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.”

1 Peter 1:6-7 NLT
“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

Psalm 16:5 NKJV
“O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot.”

Opening A Door

Tears streamed down her face. How could a few chapters of a book pierce her to the core, open a door to a locked room she knew not existed? How could this be? And what would she, could she do about it? At this moment in time…nothing. Her life path was chosen, ruts worn deep. No way to climb out of them, or so it seemed.

This new revelation would take time to mull. It was hard and deep, pulling up regrets, painful reminders of things lost, never to be regained. Even so, much had been received in good measure. Blessings were abundant. Yet, grief welled up, and demanded attention for who knew how long.

“Let me remember all Your filling, LORD, and not just the closed doors as I finish out my days. I am thankful for all You’ve given…my cup overflowing, not drained dry.”

She finished the book with a sigh, and sat stunned in the quiet. After puttering with a few things on her desk, reminding herself to live in the moment, she grabbed several projects-in-process, and wandered to the living room. Just after 6:00 p.m. Maybe there would be an inspiring movie to watch. It seemed learning to be an observer over the years brought her to this place of watching and waiting.

Somewhere along the way her verve for life had dimmed, along with her years. Was it the loss of family involvement, less volunteer work, her own content to enjoy peacefulness in a chaotic world? Was this how her mother felt as she aged, less the hub of family as she once had been? It was weird and painful and poignant, all rolled into a ball of mystery. Not frightening. Just a point in time where she could do nothing but…watch and wait…before knowing how to proceed.

Life review was a trip. Really. A journey through all the things, places, decisions, wondering about the roads not traveled, and how all the choices landed her where she was today. Normal, aging stuff. Yet disconcerting in many ways. When would her body fail? Had she neglected it? Was there time to change? Did she even care?

She clicked on the TV. Thankful for a family friendly movie, she slid into its safe pond of fantasy and happy endings to let her mind and emotions mull and steep, as the truth began to percolate to the top. Her heart, raw with emotion, quietly bled.

“All things work together for the good of those who love God,” the movie character exclaimed. That was no fantasy! The door of Truth remained open. Just what she needed to hear. Resolution would come eventually. This pain was but the creak of a rusted door opening another hidden place to the light of healing. Somehow a broken place was about to be mended.

~~~

LORD, thank You for never failing us, even when we feel uncertain, unsure, or wondering how our life measures. Thank You for Your redeeming Love, the hope given through Your promises, and the assurance of Your saving grace through Your death on the cross for our sins. For working all things for the good of those who are called according to Your purposes. Help us to rely on You, LORD. To seek to learn all You are teaching us through life’s trials, trusting You never lead us astray. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Deuteronomy 31:8 NKJV “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Revelation 3:20 NKJV “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”

John 14:26 NKJV “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”

A Random Conversation

A meeting had been set for ten o’clock. No texts had come since last week to confirm the time. Still she went. “LORD, please guide me if there is anyone You plan for me to meet today,” she prayed, then quietly stepped into the coffee shop. Had her appointment arrived, come and gone, or was the meeting forgotten? Coffee in hand, she sank into her favorite chair. Waiting was a good time for writing.

A young woman joined her briefly, then flitted away, commenting, “I hope your friend shows up.” With thanks and a smile, the oldish woman wrote on, the noise of the busy shop a happy soundtrack.

Later, a couple entered, placed their order, and plopped down in the comfy chairs near her. “May we join you?” they asked. “Of course. Please do,” she smiled, and somehow the random conversation began.

The elder’s spirit began to quietly vibrate. Not nervousness really, but a sense of walking into a holy space as the two strangers initiated the conversation and began opening their hearts to her. “LORD,” she silently prayed, “help me listen well. Let my words be Yours.”

She was amazed the two wanted to converse. (How cool was that!) As she listened she shared bits and pieces of her story, interspersed here and there in response to theirs. Of God’s great grace, and His many touch points in her life. The mundane-made-miraculous with God’s hand directing her steps. Hoping they, too, would want to know this Person Christ Jesus. Not some “old time historic figure,” nor some empty religious philosophy, but He Who Is Alive.

It was a beautiful experience. Strangers from another state visiting on business, wondering about where to relocate, stopping here for coffee before driving north a couple hours to a mountain town. As the chat continued, doors opened more. Beliefs and questions were shared, hurts revealed, confusions and confessions brought to light, histories given, lessons exchanged, laughter and love and connection experienced. A deeply personal, timeless interchange between two sojourners who randomly (?) met another at a coffee shop.

It was hard for the old lady to say good-bye to these new friends after this momentary touch point in time, the honest and open sharing of souls, koinonia, true fellowship. Another pair for whom the LORD sacrificed His life that they, too, might live with Him eternally.

D and R, may you personally come to know God Who Is Love. The One who makes you whole, forgives and heals, and never leaves you. I shall always remember your own Velveteen Rabbit story, of the sharing, and of the loss. In every loss, may Jesus comfort you, as He once comforted me: “I Am the One in him you loved, and I Am still here.”

Love is still here…with His arms opened wide to hold you! Thank you for sharing time with an oldish woman whose eternal spirit is “living at high noon!”* May God bless and keep you forever on your way.

~~~

LORD, thank You for the divine appointment that unfolded today. A random conversation that traversed barriers of age and worldly boundaries into the honest meeting of souls. For the joy of listening, and the joy of being heard. For blessing and receiving, of experiencing the presence of Your Holy Spirit in our conversation. For “doing church” together…reveling in the intricacies of Your incredible creation, and seeking to truly know You. Oh, LORD, how magnificent is Your Name! Please bless and keep these precious seekers on their way, and bring them home to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

1 John 4:16b NLT “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.”

Isaiah 41:10 NLT “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

2 Thessalonians 3:5 NKJV “Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.”

*Living at High Noon: Reflections on the Dramas of Mid-Life by Gordon MacDonald (1985) is a book the LORD brought into my life about twenty-five years ago. When I turned fifty, hopelessness engulfed me. I could imagine only darkness and nothing more when considering the not-so-laughable idea of being “over the hill.” The concept of living at high noon, in the full brilliance of God’s Light, still inspires me. Though the earthly body deteriorates and dies, one’s spirit reborn through Christ continues to mature, and lives eternally. God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. What joy! I feel I am but a toddler on the brink of eternity…just getting started! Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

Psalm 139:23-24 NLT “Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

1 John 1:5 NKJV “This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.”

Fields of Roofs

In 1954 my hometown boasted a population of 12,500…or was it 25,000? My memory has blurred, yet the contrast with today’s 470,000 census is stark. Our wide agricultural valley is slowly turning into urbanville. Endless neighborhoods, sprawling subdivisions, and acres of multistoried apartments cover vast fields once known for prime pheasant hunting.

The longest part of a trip home from the hills, or from out of state, is hopscotching through city traffic lights, enduring road construction, and dodging endless vehicles before finally reaching our driveway. How blessed we are to have lived in this great valley before these congested times. And to dwell still in this place where remnants of the old ways remain.

A visit to a family member’s home recently took dear husband and me high above the valley floor. Up, up, up we drove, winding past urban homesteads, new build subdivisions, and private acreages dotted with pastures, horses, and gardens. We passed beautiful new homes and high end mansions perched on the hillsides. A bright blue circular above-ground pool glistened in a bright green lawn, the color contrasting with the surrounding dry, brown, timeless, sagebrush-dotted hills begging for rain. All we saw was a dramatic testament of what was…history of old days…and what now is.

A few turns after beginning of our forty-five minute return trip home, we crested a hill, and the sad evidence below us of urban crawl convicted itself. Within a few months, the new subdivision had burgeoned. Only the street-side walls of the boundary homes were visible. All one could see now were slate grey roof tops – gutters nearly touching – undulating in waves for acres. Grey…no green showing in between.

Where were the yards for children to run and play, chase dogs and balls, build a fort or treehouse? Were the spendy houses built just so for high density tax revenue? As sterile and stark as they appeared from above, I could not help but imagine glorified boxes to incubate wireless connected brain-frames…devoid of life.

We jostled our way home through the congestion, construction, and confusion reminiscing about simpler days, and wondering, in the tradition of grandparents, what our grandchildren would experience in the future. May the beauty, essence, and lessons of the old ways remain.

We pulled into our tiny spot of nature in our green-scaped neighborhood, and as we opened our house door, no barking dogs, purring cats, or goldfish greeted us. Only the familiar shapes, sounds, and messages of the small, large, larger, and largest screens welcomed us in. Would we turn on the wireless things? Hmmm. Seems we, too, are testaments of what was and what is.

~~~

LORD, from whom all blessings flow, thank You for Your provision. Give us wisdom to keep our eyes on You, Truth, and wholeness in our fast paced world. Show us Your way in an ongoing idolatrous society where things, achievements, pleasures, and pride compete, congest, and confuse for our allegiance, obedience, and worship of You. Help us see clearly, guide our choices, light our paths. And let not the beauty of Your holiness fade from our lives. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Jeremiah 6:16a NKJV “Stand in the ways and see,
And ask for the old paths, where the good way is,
And walk in it;
Then you will find rest for your souls.”

Psalm 19:12 NLT “How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
Cleanse me from these hidden faults.”

James 4:10 NLT “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.”

1 John 1:9 NKJV “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Overcoming Guilt and Shame

Even in my elder years, remnants of guilt and shame bubble up from somewhere deep inside, life-long shadows of mistakes and hurts. Although Jesus Christ has saved me from the penalty of my sin, my facing, forgiving, and accepting myself has been an ongoing process.

Recently, a friend shared definitions of guilt and shame: Guilt means I made a mistake. Shame means I am a mistake.

As remorse repeats its accusations, how can I turn off the convicting noise? How many excuses, denials, or beating myself up over consequences before the judge and jury set me free?

Where do the voices of guilt and shame originate? Who am I listening to, after all? Why the ongoing taunts to drag me down? How do I overcome the shame-driven lies that I am a mistake?

This world, the domain of the father of lies, is bent on defeating me with guilt and shame. Yet, like a caterpillar trying to squirm its way off the ground, even if I climb as high as I can, I still cannot fly while tethered to condemnation. Only by inviting the power of God’s Perfect Light into my dark cocoon, may I die to my convicted self, and be transformed into a new creation.

I need not wait ‘til physical death to be rid of these internal griefs. The Father of Life continues to free me from the effects and penalty of sin…separation, guilt, shame, death. When guilt and shame bubble up, Truth debunks the lies when I honestly come before the LORD, embrace the Truth of who my Creator made me to be (my real identity), and receive, through transformation, new life spiritually in my present body.

God is my Final and Righteous Judge. He teaches me now how to right my wrongs, holds me through my tears, reshapes and restores me. And always throughout the process, He loves me.

Restoration, forgiveness, and freedom are exhilarating! How like a caterpillar am I, a small earth-bound creature with an innate desire to fly. What delight, snipping the fetters of guilt and shame, receiving new life, and flying even now in God’s Eternal Kingdom.

~~~

LORD, thank You for Your saving grace. Thank You that though our enemy masquerades as an angel of light, he quickly loses power when facing You, Eternal Truth. Refine us, LORD. Renew us as we come honestly before You confessing our guilt and shame, and trusting You to lead us through the transformation of forgiveness, redemption, and reconciliation. Thank You, LORD, for freeing us from condemnation to become all You created us to be…Your exquisite creation. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

1 John 1:5 NLT “This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all.”

Romans 12:2 NLT “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”

2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

Psalm 139:14 NKJV “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.”

Far Too Long

It’s been far too long since we’ve talked 
Since grandkids came and books were read
Since dogs and cats and our goose 
Chased our children in the yard 
And frogs sang ‘neath the house 

Since children played long night games 
Laughing, running bush to bush 
Who would reach the front porch first
Avoid the tag and not be “it”
Ready to play again 

It’s been far too long since childhood 
Was a time of innocence   
When living in a good, safe world 
Was the norm most parents sought
To protect their precious ones 

It’s been far too long that evil’s curl 
Has crept and slithered in this world 
Knowing that its time is short 
Its brazen shouts and taunting flaunts 
Fester before our eyes 

It’s been far too long my ear’s been deaf 
To hear the cry, to heed the call 
To understand or meet the need 
To realize where my part is
To stand against the fall 

Oh, God who gives all good we have 
Clear our vision in these days 
Protect, release all those enslaved 
Redeem their innocence some way 
Bring healing to their souls 

Whether slaves to masks or men 
Confusions or some unknown sin
Shine Your light so darkness flees 
Lies, deceptions, entrapments cease 
Let Your Truth make free

~~~

LORD, hear the cry of all who are enslaved. Avenge the souls of those who have been abused, harmed, their lives taken by evil-driven people. Let Your Spirit pour upon the earth. Redeem the time the locusts have eaten. Restore our souls and our land. Only You, LORD, have the power to defeat the evil one. Strengthen us to stand with you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Psalm 94:3 NLT  “How long, O Lord?
How long will the wicked be allowed to gloat?”
Psalm 103:17-18 NLT  “But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him.
His salvation extends to the children’s children                                18 of those who are faithful to his covenant,
of those who obey his commandments!”

	


	





	

		
The Refiner’s Fire
	


	
	

		

Gold born in crude earthen condition 
Impurities girdling, invading within 
Confining hardness needs to be broken 
Release contaminants’ hold 

Mere specks of glory hidden beneath 
Wait for refinement to be revealed 
Heated to melt, burn not away
The gold, but all that is not 

Cast in the fire of sanctification 
Dross bubbling up into confession 
Bars of imprisonment melting away 
The process and time seem so long 

Cries of distress and pleas for release 
Transforming lessons learned in the heat 
Under the hand of the Master Refiner 
Tended with Love in His fire 

With wisdom and skill the refining goes on 
Gold tested, stirred, heated again 
Becoming reflective as Christ’s holy face
Searches deeper the heart 

Will gold dissolve, vanish completely 
Lose all of what makes gold the gold 
Or find as the fire’s turned even hotter 
Gold shines more in the heat 

Oh, joy for refining to escape from 
All that would dull the gold’s brilliant shine
Thank You, Refiner, for Your loving hands 
Holding us safe through the fire

~~~

LORD, thank You Your refining fire leaves us not in our impure, encrusted state. Thank You for Your Word where instruction and solace may be found. May we read it as a child would, with an open heart to hear anew and receive Your quenching, living waters to soothe our hurting souls. Thank You, LORD, for prayer, personal conversation with You. For Your presence, hearing and guiding us, never leaving nor forsaking us…no matter how we feel…as You sanctify and purify us. Thank You for conquering the power of sin and death that we may flourish now and live eternally with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Jeremiah 5:3 NLT
“Lord, you are searching for honesty. You struck your people, but they paid no attention. You crushed them, but they refused to be corrected. They are determined, with faces set like stone; they have refused to repent.”

Roman’s 12:2 NLT
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

1 John 1:9 NKJV
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

	


	





	

		
Salmon Run
	


	
	

		

Small fry wriggling in delight 
Through rocks and pebbles of stream bed
Form a school born up high 
In mountain waters fed 

Growing slow yet rapid still
Cruising shoals and waterfalls
Avoiding spears and fishing hooks 
Eagle talons and bear jaws

On t’wards the sea to be 
Full of life robust and strong 
‘Til the day the mountains sing
‘Come back now where you belong’

Bodies sleek flagged in red 
Mature and ready for return 
Guided by determined will 
Begin their upstream run 

Battle worn they fortify
Rest in eddies calm and deep 
Renew to swim yet again
Up and up, on and on

Our old days our salmon run 
Reaching aged maturity 
Surviving ever growing years
Demands endurance too

Oh, God who gives the salmon strength 
The will and way to endure 
Fighting rapids, jumping high 
Keeping on to overcome 

As we face like forces fierce
Intent on pushing us away 
From the blessed resting place 
Keep us keeping on

Give us strength to swim our stream 
The river rapids where e’er we be 
Bring us fully home again 
Complete, our final rest in Thee

~~~

Thank You, LORD, for examples in Your creation of the design and provision You have for life, including joy of the journey with others, gifted direction and insight, protection, provision and rest, purpose in all. And no matter how long or short our journey, Your presence with us and over us all the way. Thank You, LORD. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Psalm 107:30 NLT
“What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor!”

Psalm 48:14 HCSB
“This God, our God forever and ever— He will always lead us.”

	


	





	

		
Meeting Forgiveness
	


	
	

		

The wound had been healing for years. It was hard to keep track of time, the calendar flipping like frenzied numbers on an old clock radio. All the woman knew was the ongoing cry of her heart…her whole, easily bruised being physically hurt. 





“You really need a counselor,” she was told. That broadsided her. She thought she’d been doing all the things, holding together pretty well through the long fractured relationships. Now this declaration thrust a spear. Seems you’re the only one who needs help, the spear tip mocked as it sliced through her armor. Fleeting disdain tripped across her brow, and yanked at a root of bitterness. She stood, walked away, and grudgingly made the call.





It was hard reopening painful wounds. To poke and prod, re-inflame tender places. To resurrect the pain already examined, cried over repeatedly. Conciliatory words of “It might be too late; Let go the hope of reconciliation,” chided her, a scalpel dissecting, severing, and dropping her anchor of hope into the deep. Convicting words paralyzed and plunged her under an endless tumultuous sea, the undertow dragging her deeper and deeper. This blow, hitting harder than the initial wound, compressed the feeling of life from her as the spear, thrust now by more than one, sank further into deeper wounds. 





Faith proclaimed she could believe even still…hope was forever bound with faith and love…another three-strand cord that could not easily be broken. She must get past her hopeless feelings, somehow patiently hold to the process of faith, survive the riptide, refuse to drown.





Bitterness festered like a tiny, hidden, putrid, poisonous abscess. Was it holding her hostage, a result of her failure to fully forgive? Was this whole painful mess the result of what she’d sown? Had she injured, or held a punishing spirit t’wards those who’d injured her? Could she pray again, say again, “I forgive you…please forgive me,” then be released from this besetting despair? More words shouted, this time from a page, “Sometimes you just have to feel the pain.”





The pain did its burning work until she was numb, empty, at the end of herself. She’d been at this place before, facing the abject ugliness in herself, her absolute hopelessness…just before she first met her Savior. How many times must one grieve their own shortcomings and failures, forgive daily oneself and others? It really mattered not others’ choices…her responsibility was to bring her transgressions before the LORD, trust His transforming grace. Would learning to more carefully listen be an olive branch from which to build a bridge of reconciliation with others?





Was it too late? Could she survive pulling up this nasty yuk again? It was a costly choice, one her own LORD demonstrated by forgiving fully all who crucified Him. Was she mocking His sacrifice for her sins by stuffing her bitterness, withholding full forgiveness of others for a life’s worth of emotional pain? “LORD, help me,” she cried. “I cannot accomplish fully forgiving without Your help…every day!”





Behind her closed eyes, a lone white horse walked towards her. The dirt road was dry, yet no dust swirled beneath the steed’s feet. This was no ordinary horse…she could see Majesty, Knowledge, Understanding pouring from him as he came closer and closer. She was speechless. Was Forgiveness coming to raise her up on His wings? Oh, let it be! Love hopes all things, endures all things, bears all things. The cinch of pain was indeed a small inconvenience if through it Forgiveness would give her hope again. Was this a promise of her learning to fully forgive others, rip out her own taproot of bitterness? To, finally, fully forgive herself, and be rid of her censoring guilt? Hope, carried on the mane of Forgiveness, fluttered into her heart. Oh, to clutch Hope and Forgiveness and rise, again, fully free! Her heart began to sing. 





~~~





LORD, thank You for bringing hope in the way we need…forgiveness, encouragement, Your presence as we stand against hard things that want not to heal. Thank You for sending strength to carry us, for the reminder to be still and wait for Your guidance and provision. Thank You, LORD, that nothing separates us from Your Love, for Your promise to never leave us, and Your purpose to free us from the sickness of sin to make us whole. Thank You, LORD. You are Love. You are Forgiveness. We praise and exalt You! In Jesus’ name, Amen.





I Corinthians 23:13 NLT  “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”





Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT  “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”





Psalm 30:5 NLT “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.

	


	





	

		
Church Hurt
	


	
	

		

Hurt caused by people within the Church comes close to home. An in-law’s deep disappointment when not supported during great family need; hypocrisy of church members souring another’s faith; a young one misunderstood, ridiculed, and ostracized for a different personality; others deeply wounded by non-biblical choices of leadership taking matters into their own hands, moving in their own assumed authority and judgement, resulting in years of eroding division and estrangement. All these are but snippets of church people falling woefully short of the glory of God.





Sounds like real life, doesn’t it? People hurting people. For all the bad rap “the Church” has endured, I must remind myself as one of the wounded who has inadvertently wounded others, we who are Christ followers are indeed, like every human on the planet, a ragged, needy, imperfect, still-struggling-with-our-sin-nature bunch, desperate for a Savior. 





Christ died and rose again so all could be made new; turn from wrong behaviors, thoughts, and practices; learn to walk in new ways. To receive forgiveness and learn how to forgive; seek to right the wrongs caused to others; practice loving others even though selfishness would like to hold court. To enter into the life-long process of becoming spiritually whole, within and outside of the church building.





The Church, not a building or institution, is the worldwide Body of Christ made up of His followers. We, too, are wounded, His hands and feet pouring out love, bringing good news of His salvation and hope. A band of ragged but redeemed, broken but mending, hurting but healing, learning-to-be-real, hopeful people charged to share the good news of His truth with the world. We are imperfect in ourselves, yet Christ is perfect, complete, whole. He walks with us on His path to freedom and healing, each of us on our personal journey with Him, His peace given to us to share with those around us.





Do we miss the real point, so caught up in our lives and institutions, orchestrating and running things that we neglect the essential of knowing Jesus personally? Does ours pride, self importance, delight in the gifts a gracious Heavenly Father showers on us turn our eyes toward the gifts and away from the giver Himself? The enemy of our souls uses any means to deflect our eyes away from God, caring not how far we miss the mark…just that it is missed.





This is not the “I sat in the pew and did all the things” kind of thing, but that internal coming face to face, spirit to Spirit with the Living God and realizing there is no other place to go. “For in Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28a), from the beginning to the end of ourselves, and through the offered open door to eternal life here, now, and beyond. God is not a vending machine…He is better…He knows what we need more than we do, and freely gives Himself. 





If you have been hurt by people in “the Church,” please do not throw Jesus away, nor turn your back on Him. He is alive. He is personal. He died for you. He never changes. His love is always available, even if some of His followers have not loved rightly. In your woundedness please keep seeking the Savior. Talk with Him about it. Ask Him and His Holy Spirit into your life to teach your spirit His truth. Orient yourself towards healing rather than victimhood. Open God’s Word realizing growth is a process. God instructs us to learn together…“iron sharpening iron.” Cling to hope, expect goodness, let the wind of forgiveness blow resentment and bitterness away. Become stronger and wiser, asking God for positive truths to contemplate. Turn your mind to praise as you work through the pain. Be lifted up!





God is trustworthy. He is able to hear your anger, hurt, confusion. Stand in honesty before the LORD-who-wants-to-heal-us. He-who-already-knows-our-hearts leads us in His wisdom. Please do not let the sins of imperfect people turn you away from the Savior. He is Love.





~~~





LORD, thank You that a personal relationship with You brings true freedom in every way. Please give us each the courage to stand before You, honestly pour out our hurts to You, and listen to Your counsel. You are Love. Redeem and grow beauty from our ashes, renew our hope and joy, heal our wounds. Forgive us for our sins and any ways we have harmed others. Help us to forgive those who have sinned against us. May we gratefully praise and thank You for Your mercy and grace as You transform us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.





Romans 3:23 NKJV  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”





1 John 4:8b  “God is love.”





To learn more, please see this link:http://peacewithgod.net

	


	





	

		
Under the Hosta
	


	
	

		

Axel scurried across the lawn, the early evening breeze a tail wind. Snakes and mice and squirrels, oh my! Such a long day of hunting and chasing. In need of a break, he crossed Swat’s well-worn path and ducked under a large hosta leaf. The size of the plant accommodated his full-grown length and girth, the low-hanging leaf covering the entry to his private hideaway. The broad-leafed hosta was the larger of two varieties growing under old, arched, massive juniper shrubs. It was cool there and today the soil was not quite damp; perfect for a cat nap.





For some ambiguous reason, Axel‘d done his best to avoid Swat. Perhaps the cat’s intimidating name, perpetually mussed long gray mottled fur, or daily measured march around the neighborhood gave a foreboding air. Axel’d rather give a wide berth, or hide in his napping spot, than meet the wizened cat. Avoidance, part of his prism of defensiveness was an early-learned survival technique, one that could lead to isolation. Within Swat’s worn, aged, ragged body resided a kind face and heart. Perhaps one day, the younger cat would have courage to see and not run away. 





The breeze ruffled the hosta leaves, a dull lulling sound. Swat soon forgotten, Axel slipped into a deep sleep, and tumbled into a vivid technicolor movie of memories. The cat fight when he was but two months old. The matted, angry cat responsible for the scar across his nose and the missing tip from his ear. Swat’s brother? The mottled fur and measured walk…the resemblance was uncanny. No…no need to go there again. In his dream Axel fled his attacker, howling his pain. Would he ever get over it? Other cats didn’t intimidate him…just ones whose looks or behavior poked at his early kitten trauma.





Thunder boomed, startling Axel awake. He streaked t’wards home, the fresh image of his long-ago attacker inches behind him. The cat-door flapped shut as he raced to his cushy bed and curled against the curved corner. This was his happy place, the hosta hideaway a close second. Heart pounding, he sighed heavily with relief. He was home again. Safe from the bully. Safe from the fighting. Safe from the fear. Safe from the shame. Safe momentarily from being hurt again.





~~~





LORD, thank You that You know and understand our deepest wounds. No matter how long those hurts chase us, we can find healing and restoration through Your transforming grace. Help us to overcome all that would rob our joy, impair our relationships, isolate us in our hurts. Revive us and restore us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.





Psalm 147:3 NKJV  “He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.”





Psalm 38:21-22  “Do not forsake me, O Lord;
O my God, be not far from me!            22 Make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation!”

	


	





	

		
The Sea of Hope
	


	
	

		

Piercing…how else could the jolts be described? The lights suddenly flipped, speech was silenced, understanding fled, and he was left adrift, a spirit afloat in a broken vessel at the mercy of forces beyond human control. Was this the crowning assault on his life? Was he near the end of his run only to be thrashed and flattened, crushed by a mighty hand of destruction laughing gleefully at his…demise? Such a rude end to one’s story. Where the valiant victor? Could he, would he arise?





Like an undulating current the man’s whole life had ebbed and flowed with rejoicing and sadness, gain and loss, triumph and failure, challenge and overcoming…it went on and on as he navigated a tumultuous sea. Were the truths of Ecclesiastes being revealed…was all vanity and a striving after the wind?  Undulation unceasing, the peaks usually  cascaded to the valleys…this time a sheer cliff dropped him without warning. He lay there at the bottom, his eyes clouded.





Fluttering. Faint wisps across his face. Was he rocking in his boat? Cocooned. He felt warmth in the total silence. If only his eyes could see. Then words…whispering in his memory…”I will never leave you nor forsake you.”





“Hey, man. How ya doing?” a rough voice filled the silence. Justin’s eyes startled open to see the craggy face of his long-time neighbor peering down at him. John Joseph was rough as a cob on the outside, smoother than creamed corn on the inside. He and Justin spent many days fly fishing or trolling mountain lakes. A lifetime of friendship especially dear since both losing their wives. If anyone should greet Justin at this strange awakening it would be John Joseph. Pals in life, brothers in the LORD, both seeking to follow Jesus and tune their lives to Him.





“Auyaaa,” Justin muttered, confusion flickering across his ashen face. “Uhhhhhhhya.” Try as he might the words in his head would not form in his mouth.





“Lie still,” John Joseph said, grasping  Justin’s shoulder then whipping out his cell phone. “I’ll stay right here with you while we wait for help.”





After Justin was loaded into the county ambulance, John Joseph climbed inside. “We’re family, bro,” he said to Justin, while settling himself out of the paramedic’s way. “I called Pastor. He’ll meet us at the hospital. He and the others are praying for you. We’re with you all the way.”





Justin’s eyes drifted close though the siren wailed. Strange to find himself so utterly dependent. Without the strength to solve this dilemma, even so he was cast into a place of choice…fear or trust. He was too weak to be afraid, a calm assurance infusing his spirit….“cast your burdens on Me and I will give you rest.” All his strength was needed to breathe. Trust. What else could he do? He could not see his immediate horizon, yet knew from years of days and nights, tomorrow the sun would come up. He was warm, secured, cocooned…rocking somewhere in a sea of hope. No matter the future, he knew the Master of his story…all was well. He would rise again.





~~~





Thank You, LORD, that beyond our abilities and vision, You are still there, the wellspring and giver of hope. All life proceeds from You. Thank You for Your gifts of salvation, mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Help us to humbly accept such amazing gifts through Your great Love and sacrifice. Thank You that You are our sea of hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.





Ecclesiastes 1:14 NKJV  “I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.”





Deuteronomy 31:8  “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

	


	





	

		
A Narrow Place
	


	
	

		

Minuscule seeds blown into a sidewalk crack quietly grew towards the sun. Tiny faces of Johnny Jump-ups bloomed purple, yellow and white on narrow stalks swaying in the now pounding rain. Did they bow their heads protectively, or did the force of the storm push them down? Either way, the well-named volunteer row of (somehow evenly spaced) tenacious, fragile-looking plants humbly bore the storm.





Loud thunder roared, sheets of rain poured…would the fat, heavy drops turn to hail? Great dust clouds whipped up between blowing waves of rain turned the sky deep vermilion in the setting sun. Lightening strikes bisected the sky, jagged paths a jolting contrast to the glorious color and arch of a brilliant rainbow. The grand display was breathtaking, and a promise of sweetly freshened air. While lightning continued to flash and clouds tumbled, thoughts came for those in narrow places who bore private storms of life. Like those small flowers, how were they fairing their own overwhelming, relentless, sometimes capricious tumults?





Often boundaries and limitations force us into a confining place not of our choosing or expectation. The old sayings of “keep your head down” and “bloom where you’re planted” are easy to voice, yet much harder to live by when enduring an uncomfortable narrow place. What an example are Johnny Jump-ups in their small, yet glorious, unassuming way. Near their kin blooming in the designated flower bed, these in a much narrower place are no different but for location. Worth, value, beauty, fulfilling their purpose…no less than those flourishing in the wider garden spot. Temptation to gently pull them out and transplant them has been resisted so far…they are a beautiful testament of living victoriously in a humble, narrow place.





No matter our personal confines – health issues, relational stresses, mental health challenges, material want, legal constraints, safety and social concerns, or any other limitation narrowing one’s place – each of us can grow fully, bloom beautifully, fulfill our purposes to glorify God. Even consequences of poor choices may be transformed into paths to great beauty. Nothing restricts or constrains the will of God for His people, nor His power to work all things together for the good of those who follow Him.





In a world bent on contrasts and comparisons, isolations and divisions, blurring and confusions, judgements and crucifixions, peace may be found in one’s narrow place. With God’s presence it matters not where one is constrained. God’s presence opens every prison wall…He is the One who brings Life and Hope to every place.





~~~





LORD, thank You for these tiny reminders from nature to live fully the purposes You have for us no matter our situation. Thank You we are each uniquely made, designed specially by You. Guide us, please, into the full beauty of Your perfect will that we may glorify You. Thank You for Your Spirit of transforming grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen





Psalm 119:141-143 NKJV  “I am small and despised,
Yet I do not forget Your precepts.     142 Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness,
And Your law is truth.                          143 Trouble and anguish have overtaken me,
Yet Your commandments are my delights.”





Psalm 115:13  “He will bless those who fear the Lord,
Both small and great.”





Romans 8:28  “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

	


	





	

		
For That Veteran
	


	
	

		

An unusual sense of foreboding hovered over the gloomy low-ceilinged parking garage. I drove cautiously to the second level before finding an empty spot, and was relieved it faced the outside light. An older grey sedan pulled in on my left moments later, and out popped an equally older, short, wiry man whose wrinkled, weathered face exuded kindness.





Just steps ahead of him as we approached the elevator, I pushed the button, the door opened, and we rode down together. Proceeding along the narrow walkway into the VA Medical Center, I inquired if he was a veteran.





“Yes,” he said. And I thanked him for his service.





“My husband, dad, and many men in my family are veterans, too,” I offered. Thinking of other family members and how we each also serve…as civilians living the collateral effects of military service…I added, “I’ve found it’s a shared family thing.”





As we waited in line in the busy lobby, he continued, his eyes darkening, “My dad served in WWII. The horribly inhumane things he experienced…there’s a reason those vets don’t want to talk about it.”





During our conversation I wondered aloud, “Do you feel those hurts have carried over to you? Generational pain is real, and I wonder how much we unknowingly carry.”





“Oh, there’s all kinds of therapy for that,” he replied. As the line moved forward and our chat ended, I thanked him again and said, “God bless you,” smiling as we parted. His face and eyes lit up and, with his affirming nods, I sensed a moment of spiritual solidarity.





Seconds later, after receiving directions to our son’s post-surgical room, I looked back. The man had vanished. What more would he have shared? What reason for such a random interchange? A mist of stories, a lightening of burdens? Or was he but a timely escort through a foreboding garage? 





After a good visit with our son and daughter-in-law, I drove t’wards a stormy sky, my mind rewinding to the veteran’s brief story of his father, and the burden of untold stories so many still carry.





A vast sheet of mottled grey covering the sky turned progressively heavier and darker ‘til it touched the ground. The air felt oppressive, the darkness pulling the sky earthward as though an increasing weight of tears hung there…waiting. Hidden, stuffed pain begged to be released into weeping rain lest the atmosphere implode…nature reflecting the mounting collective hurts of the world. Would a person’s increasingly burdened spirit look the same? How many hurting souls refused to release their heavy rain, thundering only, or finding other ways to avoid being consumed by their stormy grief? Would they ever be free of such a load?





Just left of the misery, a section of brilliant blue sky held a great white cumulus cloud, the sun’s rays illuminating it from behind and shining around it…a proud fist of pure victory despite the dark, dismal gloom brooding nearby. Nature reflecting light overcoming the darkness. Hope rising. Burdens cast off. Freedom!





God bless us every one! Bless each veteran…generations standing to fight for goodness and right, enduring grave hardships of tortuous battle against evil and all who would defeat wholeness and peace. And for the untold families who bear the hardships as well…they are all of us. Please, God, wipe every tear away! And give us strength to overcome those unseen things in ourselves causing the pain we inflict on one another. Heal us through Your perfect peace and reconciliation. Thank You for truth, light, and freedom!





~~~





LORD, thank You for this brief encounter, and safe passage through a dark place. Help us to savor touch points like this, not feel hurried but wait in the quietness of Your Spirit to listen and hear. Bless each veteran, and every hurting person. Restore us all from the horrors and deep wounds inflicted on our bodies and spirits. Forgive the sins and brokenness we have committed against You and our fellow humans, and help us forgive ourselves and those who have caused harm. Heal our pain, dry our tears, and let us rejoice in the hope and glorious beauty of Your Light! In Jesus’ name, Amen.





Revelation 21:4 NKJV  “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”





Matthew 11:28 NLT  ‘Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”’





John 8:12 NLT  ‘Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”’






	


	





	

		
Mountain Spring Time
	


	
	

		

Old Man Winter began to shave 
His white beard shorter day by day
Balding head with white tufts plain 
Sideburn whiskers yet remain

Ridges, crevices of his nose 
All his wrinkles full exposed         Now grow tender fuzzy hair
Eager sprouts on mountains fair

While he closes eyes to slumber
Sweating in the noonday sun 
Rivulets pour from his crown 
River rapids running down 

And warming sheets melt ‘neath his chin 
As he dreams remembering 
Frozen castles, ice igloos 
Snow and sleet, storms he blew 

All aglow comes tumbling in
Youthful Spring, his time again 
Laughing glad with all things new 
Bursting at the seams to bloom

Winter sighs slow to leave
Parting snowflake flurries breezed
As crystal memories drip away 
Mountain spring time’s here to stay 

~~~

Thank You, LORD, for the changing seasons, the constancies of nature You’ve set in motion, the vast beauty of Your living art drawing our eyes upwards to see You. Open our hearts to know You and Your eternal purposes, and to walk in awareness of Your presence each day. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Genesis 8:22 NKJV
“While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, Cold and heat, Winter and summer, And day and night Shall not cease.”

Jeremiah 8:7
“Even the stork in the heavens Knows her appointed times; And the turtledove, the swift, and the swallow Observe the time of their coming. But My people do not know the judgment of the Lord.”

	


	





	

		
A Beautiful Meeting
	


	
	

		

There he was…dark haired, mustached, tall and lean…just as in their youth. She’d heard, then saw him looking for tools in the workroom, his mannerisms reminding her of Dad, purposeful and precise.





Decades pulled them from each other, stretched like taffy. Previous grand gatherings dwindled with growing families, varying interests, different friends, the pandemic; all gradually replaced by social media, a phone call, holiday texts, an occasional visit. It was a loss, a diminishing of something fine and precious, perhaps a natural downhill progression, like mingled river headwaters separating in their long run towards the sea. 





The years sculpted them differently, him more liberal, her more conservative. Yet their abiding love was unbroken, ultimately stronger than taffy. They stood looking at each other, he explaining what he was looking for, she amazed he was there. A soul meeting of sorts, a moment of reconnection, understanding flowing over things previously barred, walls of disagreements disappearing. Lumps and holes in their taffy being smoothed and filled as life kept folding and stretching them, this time bringing them closer again.





It was delightful for both, his eyes twinkling while speaking words she longed to hear. She captured that moment in the Love of her heart, writing it down for her eyes and mind to see. For a memory, an encounter, a dream, every occurrence spent in sweet communion with those one holds dear is a priceless gift in a world bent on pulling families apart.





—





There is a want deep within
To be accepted, understood
Something human souls long for
Commune with others, what is good
A family sort of thing





Yet human life has its points
Of challenges and disconnect
Joys and hurts all swirled in
Imperfect persons seeking yet
To be loved and heard





Love came down on Christmas Day
To live a Life that demonstrates
The way of Love and Listening
What it means to truly make
Relations in harmony





Thank You, God, for keeping us
Connected even when we’re stretched
For all we learn from life shared
With others’ lives ours intersects
On this journey back to You





~~~





LORD Jesus, thank You for Your abiding, unending Love! Thank You for loved ones who so richly bless our lives. Let us love one another as You have loved us. In Your name, Amen. 





Romans 8:38-39 NKJV  “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”





Matthew 12:50  “For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”





Psalms 22:27  “All the ends of the world Shall remember and turn to the Lord,
And all the families of the nations
Shall worship before You.”

	


	





	

		
Overcoming Again
	


	
	

		

She lay flattened on the floor, the wind knocked out of her from the never ending battle. She awakened each day this way, a lingering shred of hopelessness refusing to let go. Was she a mother sorrowing for her adult children, their choices hurting them? A wife caring for her ailing husband? One enduring her own chronic health issues? One struggling day to day to provide food for her family? One standing against causes of suffering? A grandmother grieving for her grandchildren? Or was she bearing some other oppressive burden that just would not let go? And so she prayed…there was absolutely no higher place to bring her supplications for those of her heart, or for herself, than before Jesus, King above all kings, King of the Universe.





It was an ongoing battle. The world and forces of evil relentlessly sucked more into bondage through attacks aimed at most tender, vulnerable spots. Previously subtle covert measures had become blatant, public proclamations. And the masses…dumbed down over years of trickling twisted lies, the ploys of the evil one in the Garden of Eden stuck on replay through endless generations…drank in the poison, gulping it in their desperate need, not knowing it was killing them.





Overcoming. The call to all who follow Christ the King. Salvation and new life given to all who accept His unfathomable Holy gift…His own life sacrificed through death on a cross carrying the weight of all of mankind’s sins. Crucified and buried. Dead. For three days in a tomb His breathless physical body lay…flattened on the floor.





Thankfully she was still breathing, though sorrow pressed heavily. Her spirit’s only strength to overcome rested solely on Christ’s Risen Spirit lifting hers, He who overcame death itself, His body resurrected so hers, too, would be. She had received salvation, her spirit was reborn. Yet in the fierce spiritual battle of evil desperately clawing to defeat and claim all it could, she needed the refilling strength, presence of her King’s Holy Spirit within her to overcome and overcome again.





She breathed a prayer in her exhaustion, apologetic for her weakness, yet knowing the infinite Love and Grace of Jesus pouring over and filling her, enabling her to stand once more. It took the gift of time dwelling in His presence, listening to His words of encouragement. Time to be quiet and just be, let Hope strengthen her heart. He would show her the way, the Faithful Shepherd leading His lamb. With Him, one moment at a time, she, too, could overcome.





~~~





LORD, thank You that You give us Your strength to overcome. In ourselves we can do nothing against the forces we face. All ability, talent, intelligence we might have…even our brokenness…is a gift from You. As You have given us life, LORD, we give ours back to You to be strengthened and raised above all that would defeat us. Strengthen us, LORD, to overcome through You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.





Isaiah 12:2 NKJV  “Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
‘For Yah, the Lord, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.’”





Psalm 73:25-26  “Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. 26 My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

	


	





	

		
The Father’s Care
	


	
	

		

“Go! Into the house now!” her father thundered. His elder daughter’s defiant eyes flashed as she stood daring to glare at him. “Go now!” he growled, not with menace but authority. She spun on her heel and fled, slamming the door behind her as she stomped into the house. She, with her mother, had selfishly and ruinously hurt an innocent young woman, their sugary deception causing their victim to flee in fear while they sought to claim her prize. Their plot exposed, the two earned the painful consequences of…truth’s discipline.





The events leading to this scene (my interpretation from author Kit Morgan’s book The Christmas Mail Order Bride) struck me as an allegory of how the spirit of fear deceives us. Fear dances around, taunting, sometimes cooing and soothing, twisting our thoughts ‘til we are paralyzed, give up, or run away from our purpose rather than towards it. Shrinking back in fear is fear’s intent. To capture us and convince us from becoming all the Father has meant us to be. And like the deceivers of the above story, it would rob us of our prize.





My earthly father was a protective man. Tall with a big personality, he cared deeply for the welfare of his wife and children. He would have disciplined me – in love – had I intentionally set out to hurt another for my own gain. He also defended me from those who would harm me. I experienced his approval and disapproval. Disagreed with him on more than one occasion. Learned to stand my ground and live with my choices. Nearly lost him over our differences…and yet, as we faced our differences honestly, the bond of Love held fast. Though tested and stretched it was never broken. It remained steadfast…always forever, no matter whatever.





As I face challenges that appear overwhelming…when the spirit of fear tries to swirl around to block me from reaching my purpose…my mind’s eye sees my protective father thundering to all who would deceive or undo me, “Go! Now!”





How much more our Father God is there for us! How much greater His Love, defense, protection, wisdom than that of the best of earthly fathers! Praise be to live in the Love of the Father’s care! One who loves us enough to discipline us when needed. To redeem us when in humility we repent from our wrongs. Who nurtures us to wholeness. And who teaches us to stand strong against fear.





~~~





LORD, thank You that You are Love! That You have formed and fashioned Your creation in such a way for Love to abound. Forgive us for listening to the deception of fear and other unholy spirits who would turn us away from Your Great Love. Purify us, LORD. Bring us back to right relationship with You. Free us for all You have purposed. And keep us strong in Your Spirit. In Jesus’ name, Amen.





Romans 5:8 NKJV  “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”





Isaiah 41:10  “Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

	


	





	

		
Hope Deferred
	


	
	

		

Waiting with prayerful petition 
Goes on forever at times 
Months slow turn into decades 
Years roll languidly by

Heart sick heavy with sorrow
Refusing to heal, to mend 
A shroud of heaviness hanging
Mulling its way in the dim 

Why yet no answers so wanted 
Those heartfelt cries to above
Oh to see the great picture 
See with God’s eyes of pure Love 

While waiting His strength is transplanted 
Into hearts wounded deep 
His sure accompanying presence
Available to fill every need 

Take hope, all you who are weary 
Exhausted and sick in your souls 
Cling to the Giver of patience 
One who can make all hearts whole 

Practice resultant thanksgiving 
No matter what outcome may be 
With God in pain’s fertile soil 
Beauty will grow mercifully 

~~~

LORD, thank You that no matter the depth of our sorrow, Your Love is deeper still. Help us to have trust in Your good purposes especially when the resolution we so desire is delayed, or never comes. Show us Your will, Father. Help us to rest in Your promises as we wait on You. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Proverbs 13:12 NIV
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,    
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Daniel 2:22 NKJV
“He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, And light dwells with Him.”

Isaiah 60:2
“For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, And deep darkness the people; But the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you.”

Psalm 81:10
“I am the Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.”

	


	





	

		
Fading
	


	
	

		

Wispy like clouds…that’s how she felt. Stretched for so long it seemed holes were holding her together. No wonder an emptiness invaded. Not depression really, just a void. It was a strange experience, more tolerable the older she grew. Watching changes in her loved ones and friends added to the taste of life distancing…becoming less connected, unimportant, a sense of isolation, being forgotten. A growing towards that very private thing called dying each soul must singularly face.





She had always pre-grieved, perceiving losses to come; so began exploring the feelings visiting her, trying to learn the lessons waiting there. Nothing was a waste. Growth came from all experiences, even the hardest ones, some like composted manure necessary to nourish the soil so the flower would flourish, grow, and bloom. Thankfully the Master Gardner cultivated the garden well, transplanting her out of places where heaps of too much would-be manure would destroy her. She was at the mercy of Someone beyond herself. There was too much in the plowing, churning, cultivating, transplanting, and the endless changing seasons for her to understand. It was best now that she just rest…and watch the clouds.





Clouds had become a near obsession. “Two hands on wheel!” her son admonished as she tried to get a picture while driving. The sky had been glorified daily with changing cloudscapes, light shimmering through, into, behind…displaying over the valley exquisite contrasts of blue and white; other days white and dark shapes backlit by velvet gray.





What a gift! The Master Artist unveiled daily surprises, the overarching dome alive with movement, color, change. As her fading soul contemplated the losses she bore and would bear, the final loss leaving this earthly place, she gazed at the clouds and remembered her lifelong dreams of bodily flying there. She would rather sit on a hill and take pictures imagining then fuss with daily demands.





Perhaps one day soon her spirit would rise and play through the majestic gladness of the clouds. The rolling ones, the sheets of gleam, the wispy cowlick feathers. The story-telling ones morphed into dinosaurs, dogs, and bunnies. And angel shapes hovering over city scenes. The gray velvet ones like comforters letting go crystal kisses of snow upon the earth. And in her play she would find herself full again.





The holes? Perhaps just new places to be filled with heavenly wonders beyond her imagination. Like eyelids briefly closing to open yet again.





~~~





LORD, thank You that when we come to the end of ourselves, actually or in our feelings, You are there. There is no place we can go where we are truly abandoned or alone. Our feelings are but wisps, changeable as clouds driven by unseen winds. Thank You for being the only Unchanging One, that Your Word and promises never vary, that You are fully trustworthy, and that You carry us through all life experiences. Thank You for the gift of filling us anew with Your resurrected life! In Jesus’ name, Amen.





Romans 5:10-11 NKJV  “For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.”





Psalm 139:7-10  “Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.”





Psalm 36:5  “Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens;
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.”

	


	





	

		
Our Tombs
	


	
	

		

The door slammed shut blocking any trace of light entering the pitch black room. He might as well have been dead and buried; the crushing experience was the same. Isolated, abandoned, rejected, ridiculed, he could only cower in a tight ball thankful he could still breathe. He had been beaten and bloodied…again.





The boy was eleven, small for his age, but wiry and strong. He could run like the wind, yet had not run from his uncle, his “guardian” whose heavy hand hurt him. They lived in a fine house near the center of town, the outside glitz shamming the ugliness inside. Summertime was the worse. He could be locked in his tomb for days, no one the wiser.





“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine,





This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine,





This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine,





Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine…”





A sweet voice reached his ears through the outside walls of his windowless room. The song brought memories of words sung and Bible stories heard when his parents, now dearly departed two years, took him to church. A picture of a small candle lighting up his darkness came to mind, and he gingerly sat up, groped to find the cot, and crawled onto it. He could just see it there on the small bookcase nearby, a little candle shining brightly, winking and twinkling friendliness. No, he was not alone. A wisp of happiness and hope wafted over him.





As he lay in his candle glow he thought of the story of Easter, Jesus rising from the dead, the sealed stone of His tomb found rolled away, and Jesus walking in the garden. “Jesus, I need You. Would You get me out of this tomb?” the boy simply asked. “I don’t know how to get out of here.” And falling asleep, he dreamed of his deliverance.





*                                                            





Jesus intimately understands vulnerability, humility, the pain of abuse, a gruesome death…and the tortured separation from His Father with Whom He was united in all ways. As He bore mankind’s sins, yours and mine, on the cross He cried, “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?” 





Sin does that…separates us from the Father. And though “He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust,” His ideal is to resurrect us now to live above all that steals His goodness from us. 





What has me entombed today? Where in my life am I clinging to sin or untruths that hold me hostage? Whether by the hand of others or my own choice, how am I bound? Is it despair, grief, hopelessness? Enticements of the world?Philosophies contrary to God’s plan? Fear of any kind? There is only One I know who has defeated death, thereby conquering all that would defeat me; who offers rebirth for my spirit to live free from my tombs day by day…redeemed, changed, and reconciled for eternity, to walk with Him – risen – in the garden.





“Jesus, I need You! Would You get me out of this tomb?”





~~~





LORD, thank You for Your sacrifice for me, for bearing my sin, for going through the torture and pain in my place. Thank You, Father, for Jesus’ triumph over death, and Your amazing gift of forgiveness, redemption, reconciliation, and eternal life. Let me truly understand and appreciate Your great Love for me every day. Show me the Way, LORD, and let me be willing to follow. Thank You, in Jesus’ name. Amen.





Luke 24:36-40 NKJV  “Now as they said these things, Jesus Himself stood in the midst of them, and said to them, “Peace to you.” 37 But they were terrified and frightened, and supposed they had seen a spirit. 38 And He said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do doubts arise in your hearts? 39 Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself. Handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have.” 40 When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His feet.





1 John 1:9  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”





Matthew 5:44-45  “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

	


	





	

		
In Glowing Winter Moonlight
	


	
	

		

Three o’clock in the morning was a ridiculous time to be awake. Frosty thoughts tripped over Rachael’s sleepy mind as she closed the weather app and set her phone down. “Happy New Year,” she frowned shaking her head at the bedside clock flashing <10:00>. “Just great! Who knows when the power will come back on?” She was freezing once again, this time through no fault of her own…her power bill had been paid.





“Enough grumping!” she muttered, hugging her blanket and purring cat closer. Earlier she had donned long underwear, two layers of socks, her thickest pants, a fleece top, and a down vest. She was bundled…not her first winter rodeo.





Three days of storms, blown in on high winds, consumed the valley. It was depressing or beautiful depending on one’s point of view, and the availability of warm shelter. Staccato hail turned to swirling sleet, finally giving way to long quiet hours of great tumbling flakes. But for the present lack of heat, Rachael loved the Norman Rockwell and Thomas Kincaid scenes the storms left behind.





With a heavy sigh she gazed out the bedroom window. Like a giant mellow spotlight, the moonlight’s reflection on the snow illuminated the park behind her apartment. Exquisitely beautiful, the light begged Rachael’s company. “Why not? It’s a balmy twenty-one degrees Fahrenheit,” she announced to Madeleine, her silky gray, six-toed cat. “It’s a glorious night for a walk!” Amidst Madeleine’s protesting meows of being jettisoned from a warm lap, Rachael grabbed her hat, scarf, and gloves, zipped up her down coat, stepped into snow boots, and fairly waltzed out the door. Well, as gracefully as one can waltz in snow boots.





An old wrought iron gate separating her yard from the park stood frozen open just enough to allow access to the pristine winter wonderland. Enthralled with the golden glow shimmering everywhere, Rachael crunched along the path into the park, the noise of her steps muffled by the dense snow. Icy crystal-coated limbs of pines and deciduous trees, and drooping feathered branches of firs, twinkled as though nature had woven lights around every branch and needle. Lower clumps of bushes also glimmered, their shoots long upright fingers holding glistening cottony snowballs.





Memories engulfed Rachael as she stood under the twinkling trees, memories of family when she was young, and more recent sorrowful ones. Kaleidoscopic images flashed through her mind, both comforting and painful in the serene silence, while celestial songs heard not by her ears but by her spirit soothed her wounded heart. Barely breathing she whispered into the ethereal balm, “Thank You.”





The heartbreak of Rachael’s darkest night flooded her once again, and tears coursed down her cold cheeks. “Oh, Michael! I miss you so much! I wish you were here with me now in this beautiful place.” Her husband’s sudden death seven months previous blindsided Rachael in every way. While still grieving the miscarriage of their first child, Rachael received the awful news of the accident…an eighteen-wheeler flipped on the freeway, crushing Michael’s car as it tumbled and flew crashing across two lanes of traffic. The light of her own life nearly snuffed out that night in her overwhelming despair. Not even the stars had shown through her gloom. Often isolated in the icy grip of her grief, Rachael, mercifully, never felt completely alone. Friends and family reached out to her, though she preferred the unobtrusive company of her own thoughts, the undergirding of her faith, and Madeleine.





“I’m still here, Rachael,” a voice whispered in her ear.





“What? LORD? Is that You?” Rachael’s eyes grew wide as she spun around. Her heartbeat sped up, then slowed again as she saw not another soul in the park. She had heard the LORD’s voice before, in the first hours of losing her husband.





“It was Me, Love, in him whom you loved, and I Am still here.”





Rachael stood quietly, the glow of light washing waves of peace over her. Yes, she missed Michael fiercely, his presence, his laughter, his strong arms holding her. Yet as she stood there bereft, the absence of Michael’s tangible love leaving such a great emptiness in her, something more than moonlight began filling and warming her soul. She welcomed the thaw she could discern deep inside, a drenching touch melting her frozen heart.





Lost in thought, Rachael walked towards her apartment. Suddenly, the exterior lights of her building snapped on, flooding the walkway. “Such a metaphor,” she mused. In the freezing power-robbing darkness of her grief, on this power-lost night following the winter’s worst storm, in glowing winter moonlight Love overcame her darkness, unexpectedly illuminating her heart. She walked on knowing as she stepped closer to the light, holding to the One who would never leave her, she would soon be warm again.





~~~





Thank You, LORD, that no matter our emotional pain or burdens Your Love remains. Teach us to abide in You so that we may experience this truth and Your presence. When facing the wrenching losses of those we hold dear, those upon whom we depend, those who fill our hearts, remind us that in You we are never left alone. Thank You for Your living written Word and Holy Spirit who ministers to us. Thank You that You are Love, the One who truly fills us and makes us whole. With praise and thanksgiving in Jesus’ name, Amen.





Deuteronomy 31:8 NKJV  “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”





I John 4:16  “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”





John 8:12  ‘Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”’

	


	





	

		
Patches of Blue
	


	
	

		

Storms everywhere crowding me
With spiritual warfare cruel
Yet beyond great cumulus clouds 
The sky held patches of blue

Some clouds white, others gray
Darkness lofty grew
Yet thunder signs could not blot out
Vibrant patches of blue

Be still my heart, all is well 
Though pressures fall and rise
Pray, veer from internal storms 
Look up, still blue’s the sky

Throughout the day with spits of rain 
The cloudscapes gaily played
The thunder fled as currents changed 
Cloud shapes in vast blue space

Came again through clouded day
Lessons from on high
Though warfare pelts, impairing me 
Higher still is God’s blue sky

With lighter heart at end of day
With relief and gratitude
My heart and soul will n’er forget
Look up, see patches of blue 

~~~

LORD, thank You for the wonders of nature, Your living art that declares Your glory and reminds us of Your everlasting, conquering Power. No matter what comes against us or dims our sight, You are with us, personally infusing new strength and courage at the very moment we need in beautiful and surprising ways. Thank You for Your eternal Love and presence that, like the great blue sky, covers us and is greater than any storm. All praise and glory to You! In Jesus’ name, Amen. 


Psalm 19:1 NKJV
“The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork.”

Luke 21:25-28
“And there will be signs in the sun, in the moon, and in the stars; and on the earth distress of nations, with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaring; 26 men’s hearts failing them from fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 27 Then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28 Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near.”

	


	





	

		
Caterpillar Cousins
	


	
	

		

A crawling squirming worm
Destined one day to fly 
Dreamed through mighty efforts
Would by itself lift high  

Stuck still soundly grounded 
Wrestling besetting things 
Revealed in layers deeper
‘Twas yet a wormy being 

In self it could do nothing 
All energy to plod 
‘Til resting in Christ’s presence 
New birth a gift from God  

Oh to be fully holy
Redeemed in every way 
Like caterpillar cousins
Receive transforming grace  
 
~~~

LORD, thank You for guiding us into Your presence, transforming us into all You have destined us to be. Help us understand our frustrations are but an invitation to come to You, to cocoon in Your arms of grace as You transform us, not only at the time of our earthly body’s death, but daily as we die to our impotent pride. Transform us, LORD. Bless us in this process…we cannot preserve, rescue, or deliver ourselves. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Ezekiel 36:26a NKJV
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you”

Romans 12:2 
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Psalm 131
“Lord, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me.
2 Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, Like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me.
3 O Israel, hope in the Lord From this time forth and forever.”